What Thoroughbred Energy Feels Like

I've always described my energy as Thoroughbred energy. Whether I was rowing, playing tennis, hiking, or working with clients, that burning energy has always been there.

If you've watched the Kentucky Derby, you've seen it. Before the gates even open, the horses are dancing sideways, tossing their heads, muscles taut with anticipation. An untrained eye might think they're out of control. They have enormous drive waiting to be released.

That's how I've felt for much of my life.

Before a tennis match, my body has always felt hot with energy and electrified. Ready to blast the first service return back across the net. The problem wasn't having all that energy—it was that I had no idea how to direct it. Left to my anxious power, that first service return flew into the fence or beyond. All that energy created a constant sense of motion, urgency, and, at times, chaos. Playing net, I’d absolutely wallop the ball; if Yankee Stadium had been behind my opponent, I probably could have reached it. There was plenty of power. What was missing was direction.

When Power Has No Direction

At fourteen, I came home from two weeks at tennis camp convinced I'd found the secret to winning. I was stronger, more confident, and hitting the ball harder than ever. I was certain I had everything I needed.

In the finals of the Girls' 14-and-Under tournament, I played one of my closest friends. She had spent her summer at a different tennis camp, and her coaches had taught something mine hadn't emphasized nearly as much: consistency, patience, and strategy.

She saw that I grew frustrated during long rallies. She noticed that high lobs frustrated me even more—I thought lobs were a cheap way to play, beneath the beautiful game I wanted to play. She simply noticed, adjusted her game, and kept sending them back. To me, it wasn't a particularly good match to watch, because it didn't feel like elegant tennis. The winner wasn't particularly powerful, though she directed her power brilliantly.

She won the tournament.

For years, I remembered that match as the day I lost and walked off the court confused. It has taken me nearly fifty years to understand that what I really lost that afternoon was the illusion that power alone wins.

The Difference Between Capacity and Discernment

For decades, I lived the same way I played that tennis match - endlessly energetic. If someone needed help, I volunteered. Another committee? Sure. Another client? Absolutely. Another school project? Why not? The longer the list became, the more useful I felt. I mistook motion for progress and capacity for discernment.

Eventually, I realized that capacity had never been my challenge—discernment was. Knowing where my energy belonged, and defining what deserved my wholehearted attention, were as challenging as recognizing what simply showed up. Extraordinary effort without direction, it turns out, is just as exhausting as too little effort.

Gallup's research on the Achiever theme describes this almost exactly: people with this kind of drive tend to focus on doing rather than discerning what's most important, and they needhelp directing that energy to where it actually matters. Reading that, I recognized myself completely, in this Year of the Fire Horse. .

What Riders Know About Channeling a Thoroughbred's Spirit

Horse people understand their horses in ways that are generous and wise. A great rider doesn't diminish a Thoroughbred's spirit with disparaging remarks about what they ran into or through. In fact, the very qualities that make Thoroughbreds exceptional - their heart, courage, sensitivity, and willingness to give everything they have- are exactly what great riders treasure.

The rider enjoys the possibility of the Thoroughbred's infinite spirit when they earn the horse's trust. Ultimately, they channel extraordinary energy together. The rider provides direction the horse needs. The horse brings power the rider could never create alone. Together, they become capable of something neither could accomplish independently.

Watching Thoroughbred Energy in the Women I Coach

I see that same Thoroughbred spirit every week in the women I work coach. Physicians. Nurse practitioners. Women leading nonprofits and public organizations. I am deeply in awe of their capacity.

They lead through impossible schedules, wield and direct enormous responsibility, make life-changing decisions, mentor younger colleagues, and somehow continue showing up with remarkable heart. Watching them, I often wonder why no one questions their capacity. The question for their employer should be, who is helping them direct it, so they don’t burn out?

This year is my 60th and for all the friendships I burned through because I was always moving to the next thing, a handful endured. They've become some of the deepest relationships of my life. Most of them work in early childhood development—which makes me laugh. They are goofballs! The patience and wisdom of people who spend their days nurturing toddlers somehow turned out to be exactly what this Thoroughbred needed. I honestly don't think I'd be here without their kind consistency and sense of direction.

Learning to Direct Your Energy, Not Diminish It

Over time, I've discovered that choosing a few things wholeheartedly brings me far more joy than trying to do everything well. Today, I find enormous satisfaction in focusing my energy where it can create the greatest value—whether that's helping with my newborn grand twins, walking alongside a healthcare leader, or accelerating positive change, one conversation at a time.

The Thoroughbred in me hasn't disappeared. She still chooses the challenge. The difference is that she no longer feels compelled to run at every open gate.

Looking back, I’m grateful to have learned the lessons of the Thoroughbred. That energy has carried me into adventures I never could have planned, required that I extricate myself from difficult situations, and introduced me to remarkable people doing fun and deeply meaningful work. What life has taught me is that defining direction is every bit as important as possessing the energy to do the impossible. One without the other leaves extraordinary potential untapped. Together, they serve our purpose with strength and grace.

FAQ:

What does it mean to have a lot of energy but no direction? It means capacity isn't the limiting factor—discernment is. Someone can have enormous drive, stamina, and willingness, and still feel scattered or exhausted if that energy isn't pointed at what actually matters.

How do you direct your energy instead of just managing your time? Time management assumes the hours are the problem. Directing energy starts earlier—with deciding what deserves your full effort in the first place, before you ever get to the calendar.

Why doesn't having more capacity prevent burnout? Burnout often comes from extraordinary effort without a clear target, not from lack of effort. Constant motion without discernment is its own kind of exhausting, even when it looks like productivity from the outside.

If you recognize this Thoroughbred energy in yourself—more capacity than direction—let's talk about where yours belongs.

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